I went out on limb and pursued a new opportunity. I believe that you have to acknowledge God in all your ways so he can make straight and plain your path (Proverbs 3:5-6). So, before moving forward, I prayed about it and fasted so I could have clarity around a definite yes or no from God. I can’t say my yes was exactly definite. Let me explain.
I’ve noticed that when God wants me to make a decision about something, he gives me unrest. Not to be a creepy Christian but I believe God speaks to us in different ways, often unseen or inaudible. There have been many times when I’ve asked God to reveal his plan to me or show me what to do. I feel like he does it by putting me in a state of unrest and disrupting my peace.
For example, when I was looking for a dog, I went to the shelter to see what the options were. I heard that adult dogs from shelters make great companions. There was one in particular that I thought would be right for me. He was small, slightly shy but sweet and a bit scrappy. He warmed up to me and even had the approval of my friends who joined me on the search. I just knew he was the one.
However, I didn’t want to make a hasty decision because after all, this is something I would have to keep alive and live with until death do us part (I know, I know – it’s just a dog but still!). So, I went home and prayed about it. I told my family members and friends about my choice and they prayed with me. I researched the mix of his breed, doggie training classes and the type of food and toys to get for your new dog. But, the next few days, I was unsettled spiritually and physically. I couldn’t sleep and kept waking up several times throughout the night. It felt like there was a gentle nudge telling me that I was about to make a mistake. I was borderline in a bad mood and on the verge of tears for no real reason.
The night before I had to go back to the dog shelter to confirm my decision, I was looking online at other dog options. I came across this doberman/hound mix that was a medium-sized pup, good with being by herself and potty trained. I obsessed over her profile by reading her medical history repeatedly and sending pictures to my family and close friends to get their thoughts. I prayed that God would show me what to do but in the meantime, I filled out the adoption application and sent an inquiry email to the foster parent in an attempt to know more about her. That night, I slept so sound and peaceful and woke up with a sweet positivity in my spirit.
I could go on with additional examples but this same unrest attacked me again about this new opportunity. My sleep was interrupted with thoughts and dreams about what this new opportunity would do. I had ideas and excitement about the impact I could have on others and how I could help to make a larger difference. I tossed and turned each night until I made up in my mind that this was the right thing to do.
I followed all the necessary steps and had some amazing conversations that made me think this was definitely a go. I was feeling confident and strong about the new doors that would open and daydreaming about the new possibilities. I was hesitant to get too excited but it was as if I could see the favor sitting on my shoulders. I continued to pray that God’s will would be done.
Needless to say, I was surprised and disappointed when I learned that the opportunity was no longer an option for me.
I knew that God had answered my prayer about his will over my own but I did wonder “well, why did you have me go through all of that if it wasn’t for me?” I think its okay to come to God honest, open and raw. But as soon as those words formed in my head, “God is working on your behalf,” also popped into my mind.
I believe that pursuing this new opportunity through to the end put some other things in motion. God, as always, is working behind the scenes and it’s not my job to know what he’s doing or how. My job is to trust him, thank him for allowing me to try something new and put my faith in his ultimate plan.
Until God reveals what the next step is, I am going to stay positive and stay the course. Faith is often the unseen and the inaudible. When I shared my experience with a trusted advisor, I was given great advice about how to handle my current state: “bloom where you are planted.” And that is exactly what I plan to do.
