Why Are You Still Single?

I’ve been dating.

Who cares? I care.

When you go two years without feeling the excitement that accompanies the anticipation of meeting someone new, to be dating is a bit of a breakthrough. While some of these dates have made me wish I stayed home with my dog watching hair tutorials on YouTube, it has been nice meeting new people and sharpening the dating skills.

I had to let the online dating go. No major reason why. It just wasn’t my bag. Kudos to those who have made it work but I’m not cut out for the random conversation with strangers online. My encounters just left me thinking, “That’s not how this works . . . that’s not how any of this works!”

One thing I have learned so far is how to answer the ever-annoying question: “why are you still single?” Every guy asks it and I’m not sure why.

My initial reaction to this question is, “If I knew that, don’t you think I would have done whatever it is to not be single and not be out here entertaining these type of questions?” complete with an eye roll and mumbling something under my breath (#wayment . . . perhaps the fact that this is my reaction may be the real reason why I’m single *insert thinking emoji here*).

In all fairness, this question is normally prefaced by my date listing all these great qualities that he sees and wondering how I haven’t been wifed up (and probably wondering if I have a special breed of crazy that is waiting to unleash itself). I get it. I know that when I meet a single, Jesus-loving man who has a great job, no kids, is financially sound, is stylish and confident, I will be looking around wondering where the hidden cameras are and if this is some type of cruel, belated April-fools joke (and if not, wondering if I can suppress my special breed of crazy until an opportune time).

I never truly know how to answer that question and quite honestly, it depends on the guy. Here are top 10 answers I’ve given (or wanted to give):

1. I was with someone for a really long time and thought that was the man I was going to marry. We both realized marriage wasn’t in our future. It took longer than I expected to get over that relationship.
2. I have gas – all the time. Either you love it or you hate it. Most hate it and kick rocks before I can explain how my stomach is set up.
3. I’m waiting on God. I tried writing my own love story, more than once, and failed miserably. I decided to put it in His hands and wait to see what He does with it.
4. I’m refraining from all baby-making activity before marriage. Nothing dries up your dating pool like celibacy (no pun intended).
5. I’m no longer in the upgrading business. For once, I would like to be upgraded. Teach me something.
6. I just haven’t met anyone I like. It takes more than looks to pique my interest. I like a man with integrity, confidence, character, presence and masculinity (amongst other things).
7. I’m picky. Next question?
8. I have high expectations of what a man should be. My Daddy has shown me what a real man is and I’ve yet to experience that for myself.
9. I haven’t met the retired athlete who made smart financial decisions, loves Jesus, didn’t suffer a brain trauma and wants to let me write all day while traveling the world whenever we feel like it.
10. I have an alter-ego named Mercedes and she makes surprise appearances in the car (mostly during traffic) or when I need to get a point across and talking just won’t do it.

Why am I still single? I honestly don’t know the answer to this question. Perhaps its a combination of everything above. Whatever the real reason may be, I’m loving my life and grateful for my personal journey. I trust God and His timing and believe that I am more than my relationship status.