Birthdays have turned into a time of reflection and hindsight. I think this occurs once you get over 35 and realize that the things you once thought mattered, don’t really matter anymore. I remember being 27 and thinking 37 was ions away. When that time rolled around, I would officially be old and boring (my apologies for any young, dumb comments I made back then to people in their thirties). My 37th year has been anything but boring. It’s highlighted by wisdom and revelations. I want to share some of these lessons with you in hopes that you are encouraged, inspired or simply enlightened.
- Be Your Own Hype Man– no one and I mean NO ONE is going to believe in you more than you do. As you create new ideas, take on new projects or set new goals, you have to remember that those are for you and you only. Someone else has their own goals or journey to experience and therefore, won’t be overly concerned about yours. They may not give you the pat on the back that you desire to keep going. This could be family or friends. If what you are doing is not for them, why do you feel the need to gain their approval? You have to build yourself up! Pat yourself on the back. Celebrate yourself and see the reality of who you are and who He has predestined for you to be.
People often ask me where my joy comes from. It stems from the fact that I believe EVERYTHING God says about me and I hype myself up accordingly. I say these truths out loud to myself and smile when I say them. I AM His masterpiece. I AM beautifully and wonderfully made. I AM a published author. If you don’t believe it, why would you expect others to believe it? I hype myself up and believe that I can achieve any and every goal He has placed in my heart.
- Do it Afraid– fear can be paralyzing. It can show up in the form of distractions, intimidation or even lack of understanding. Instead of letting it build a wall between you and your journey, do it afraid. Joyce Meyer once said, “Fear is false evidence appearing real.” The hindrances may appear as real obstacles to prevent you from walking in your purpose. But have you ever considered that maybe you’re meant to be the first to do it? Or perhaps, your story is meant to encourage someone else or pave the way for another dreamer who is facing similar circumstances. Don’t let the false evidence paralyze your mind and stop you from doing what you are destined to do. Instead, do it afraid. Let your heart catch up to your head and realize that the fear was just a way to stop you from what you’re destined to do.
- Age Ain’t Nothing but a Number – 38 sounds old. It sounds like I’m supposed to have it all figured out with my white picket fence, two kids and dog. Well, newsflash – I don’t. I bought a house without a fence, I don’t really desire kids of my own and I couldn’t even manage a dog by myself. In addition to that, my mind still registers me as 30, maybe 31. Yes, after running a few miles, my knees and hips remind me that I am actually nowhere near that age but even that doesn’t stop me from getting back out there and running anyway. We must ignore these ridiculous timelines we have created for ourselves. Allow your life plan to go off course and soak up all the lessons that come with the diversion. Go for a joy ride over the bumps of life. Trudge up those mountains with a steady pace knowing that the view from the top looks different for everybody.
Age is relative. You can still build the business, start the ministry, write the book, have the family, go out for the other job, send the email, ask the person out, get the degree or just start over. It just may look different from what you thought it would, at the age you thought it could. So what?!
- Don’t Get Caught in the Comparison Trap – I am guilty of getting lost in the comparison trap and thinking I’m supposed to have what she had at the age of 30. Or sometimes I beat myself up because my waist is not as small as hers after having two kids (while I had two cheeseburgers from McDonald’s). I want to blame this on social media but ultimately, I am responsible for what I feed my mind and what I allow into my soul. I am responsible for holding every negative thought captive. Any lie that tries to make me feel less than or ungrateful for the fabulous life I live has to go.
Social media doesn’t tell you about the ten years she struggled to bring her dream to life or the sacrifices she made. It won’t share the sleep deprivation she endured or the self-image issues she had to overcome in order to get back in shape. Social media is simply the highlight reel of someone’s life. You never know what’s being sacrificed behind the scenes. Instead of comparing your life to someone else’s, pray about what your purpose it meant to be and what strategy you need to implement to get there. You have the same 24-hours in the day as Oprah, Michelle Obama and every other trailblazer out there.
- Walk in His Love – I feel like I often write then delete a text because I’m convicted on if those words would spread love or discord. Jesus calls us to walk in love, no matter someone’s gender, ethnicity, beliefs or lifestyle. Just because I don’t agree with what you do, doesn’t mean I don’t love you. That is a common misconception in our world today. My job is not to judge or change someone. I don’t know what happened in your life prior to my brief interaction with you to give reasonable cause for me to make an assumption about you or your life. My job is to show the love of Christ and encourage others to walk in that love.
I definitely don’t always get this right but as I grow older, I realize how much our world needs this, especially this day in age. Before you make that comment, write that text or send that email, ask yourself, “will this build or destroy?” If we could all adopt that perspective more often, internet bullies would have less boldness, racism would be less-tolerated and unnecessary opinions would be lost in the positivity of life.
I pray these revelations help you in this ever-going journey of life. There is always so much to learn and much to be taught even after our physical time on this earth is over. Here’s to another amazing year, new adventures and increased wisdom!
See my latest YouTube video, 10 Ways to Maximize Your Single Season, for more inspiration and encouragement.
