Re-read Part 1 here
Part 2
“I started choking on the last sip of water I took.”
My coworker looked alarmed and started to pat my back and asked if I was ok.
The commotion I was trying not to cause ended up happening anyway. I couldn’t breathe. I tried to catch my breath but the shock of what I saw combined with the water going down the wrong pipe was a disaster. I looked up with watery eyes and met his as shock registered on his face. He walked her out to an Uber waiting at the curb.
“Wait a fuc-freaking minute?” Chanelle caught herself before Cami could interject. “You’re coughing and practically on life support and he walks her out to the car?”
“Oh my,” Cami said.
“Yep.” I rubbed my wrists again. The officer had put the handcuffs on tighter than necessary. It’s as if he enjoyed twisting my arm behind my back even though I had already dropped the knife.
“Then what did you do?”
I continued explaining how I had asked my co-worker if she was okay catching a Lyft back to the school and how I made up some lame excuse about needing to properly recoup. She was very understanding and passed by James as he was making his way back into the restaurant. She was surprised to see him and I saw them exchange small talk.
I made an immediate beeline towards the kitchen and asked the waiter if there was a back exit I could use. He looked at me funny but after my coughing fit, I think he was willing to accommodate my exit by any means necessary. He pointed towards a back door and I was through it and jogging towards my car within the next twenty seconds.
“You left? Why would you leave? You needed answers.” Chanelle stood up and started to pace again.
“I needed to clear my head. I wasn’t ready to discuss it and quite honestly . . . I wasn’t sure how I would respond. The last thing I needed was to be some angry black woman going off in a public restaurant.” I got up and headed back down the steps.
“Well, did he chase after you?”
“I don’t know. I just sent him a text that said, ‘meet me at home.’” I didn’t even remember the drive home. The whole time I just kept reciting my mantras: You are calm. You are collected. You are worthy. You are calm. You are collected. You are worthy. But I didn’t feel any of those things. I was enraged, humiliated and mad. Very, very mad.
I was sitting at the bottom of the stairs when he walked in.
“Liz, why did you run out of the restaurant like that?”
You are calm.
“I knew you would jump to conclusions, so I didn’t want to say anything just yet.”
You are collected.
“You never wait for the full story. It was all an accident. But in disguise, it could be a blessing. I thought I was the issue and couldn’t have kids. She and I had a fling a few months back when you and I had hit a low point. We were trying and trying and it seemed like nothing was working. I didn’t think much of it because it was a one-time thing. I just needed a release and she just happened to be there. I’m not trying to be with her or anything.” He took a step closer to me.
“She recently contacted me again with news that she was pregnant. I knew you would be devastated but she is willing to let us adopt the baby. She’s still trying to grow her career and is not interested in being a single mom. I wanted to wait until the right time to tell you because I know it’s hard to hear. But, baby- we’re going to get our baby.”
You are worthy.
He just stood there staring at me. “Did you hear anything I just said? Why are you just sitting there like that? Let’s try to be adults about this. We’ll get our family . . . a little baby boy.”
I’m not sure when I kicked him in the crotch. It seemed like the pointed toe of my heel went inside of him for just a moment. He fell onto my new entry table, knocking over the vase of old roses, wrenching in pain. I knocked him to the floor and put my knee to his throat. I pressed down until his eyes seemed to bulge out of his head.
It was like I was moving in slow motion. All I could see was a sea of red and I wanted him to feel the gut punch I felt when she stood up in that restaurant. I wanted him to experience the embarrassment and regret that flooded my body. The pure disbelief that someone you loved this much could cause you so much pain. When his face turned a shade of burgundy, I let my knee up and walked into the kitchen.
He laid on the floor gasping for air. “You’re crazy! You know that. You’re crazy, Woman.”
“Oh my goodness.” Cami began to cry.
“Dang homie,” Chanelle shook her head. “I didn’t realize you had it in you. You were about to pull a straight Lorena Bobbitt on him.”
I shook my head. “What people don’t realize about Lorena Bobbitt is that she had a valid reason to do what she did. Her own husband raped and abused her. A man that she shared her life with had taken what wasn’t his and repeatedly made her feel less than as a human.” I calmly picked up my work tote that I had dropped by the door and walked over to the kitchen. The spilled water from the vase was starting to stink. I would have to clean that up later.
“Vengeance is mine saith the Lord,” Cami whispered. Chanelle and I just looked at her.
“This is not the time to preach Cami.” Chanelle rolled her eyes and sat at the kitchen table. “So you tried to stab him and he called the police.”
“Not exactly.” I grabbed three bottles of water out of the refrigerator and sat them on the table. Cami was standing in the entryway. “I called the police.”
“Wait, what?” Cami asked and made her way over to the table to sit down beside Chanelle.
“I knew I was either going to kill this man or he was going to kill me.” I shrugged and guzzled half the bottle of water. “I figured I would get ahead of it and save one of us.”
Chanelle and Cami looked at each other, then back at me. Based on their response, I decided not to include that I called the police while sharpening the knife. I explained to the emergency operator how my no-good, lying, cheating husband thought I would be elated that he got some random woman pregnant and how said woman was gracious enough to let me raise her bastard-child because she wanted a different life and my womb was too uncooperative to hold one of my own. I went on to say how I was about to cut off half of my husband’s penis since he was half of my problem.
As I explained these details, James had found the strength to get back on his two feet and stagger his way into the guest bathroom and locked the door. The police arrived to find me sitting on the steps twirling a butcher’s knife in my hand. They announced their arrival and I tossed the knife onto the floor in front of me.
“And you know the rest from there.” I downed the rest of my bottled water.
“I don’t know if I should be scared of you or if I admire you.” Chanelle just stared at me.
If I didn’t know any better, I think Chanelle was at a loss for words.
“I don’t wish this on anyone,” I said. “There is no need for admiration when all you can see is red.”
