I love Saturday mornings. There is nothing like sleeping in on a Saturday morning with no appointments, no deadlines and no particular place to be. These are the mornings that I like to make me a sweet cup of coffee, sit down with my Bible and journal and just commune with God. I position myself to receive a word from Him.
This particular Saturday, I prayed, “God, show me what you want me to know,” and I opened my Bible to Mark 6. This is no surprise because, in these past few months, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the New Testament. I’ve been learning about the character of Jesus and how he handled situations during His time on Earth. I’ve also been studying His relationship with the twelve disciples. Well, in all honesty- I’ve been judging the disciples in my head with an attitude of I just can’t believe how ignorant they were at times (insert eye roll here).
This week, I was reading Mark 6:45-52 when Jesus walked on water. He had actually just turned five loaves of bread and two fish into a full-blown meal for thousands of people, right before the disciples’ eyes! He sent them ahead of Him to the other side of Bethsaida while He finished up with the crowd who had gathered to hear Him speak. After Jesus sent everyone on their way, He went into the mountains to pray.
That night, as He was about to head over to the other side of Bethsaida, He looked out to the sea and saw the disciples struggling against the winds. He walked out to them on the water (yes, He walked) and they all saw Him standing beside their boat. They were terrified! (Who wouldn’t be?) He identified Himself, told them to not be afraid then got into the boat with them. The wind stopped and the seas calmed while they stood there, in complete amazement.
As I read this story, I shook my head and thought to myself, “He had just performed a miracle right before their eyes. One of the many they were witness too. Why were they so afraid?”
The Lord, in His infinite sovereignty, replied just as sweetly to me and said, “You do the same thing.”
Boom.
Even though the Lord is so sweet and full of grace, He really knows how to smack me across my face with the cold, hard truth.
I act just like the disciples . . . if not worse. I am the thirteenth disciple.
Jesus would teach the disciples in His ways and demonstrate His power so they could learn about who He was and what He was capable of doing. This was so they could one day teach others in The Way. For example, do you recall how He cast the demons from the possessed man into the swine? Or how He healed the Jairus’s daughter and the woman with the issue of blood in one day? Not to mention the many other miracles His disciples witnessed that just weren’t captured in the Gospels.
The disciples had a front-row seat to the amazement that is Jesus Christ, just as we do today. Yet, some things would literally fly over their heads. Be it a parable or the blatant truth, they didn’t always understand what He was trying to convey. They even argued over who was the greatest among them or who was closest to Jesus. He remained patient and took time to explain and pray for them. He demonstrated the love and faith He expected them to have towards everyone else. Yet, they had moments like this when they forgot all the goodness that He had done and feared Him and/or their situation. Sound familiar?
We witness God’s daily grace and mercy and still forget about His power when we face difficult circumstances. I see God do amazing things in my life, the lives of others and believe He can do ALL things. Yet, fear somehow penetrates my life when the winds blow or the water gets rough. When He is doing something new, instead of standing on His word and recalling to my mind how he brought me out of a previous situation, I allow fear to paralyze me and keep me from believing His promises over my life. I may obviously see Him and His hand in this particular area, yet I think it’s something else and fail to move forward due to a lack of faith.
I witness Him calm the craziness in my life and walk alongside me providing comfort and peace. Yet, the second I don’t feel His presence, I cry out in anguish. I even accuse Him of not caring enough because He doesn’t react when I think He should. I’m guilty of blaming my circumstances for my issues when in truth, my impatience and lack of faith are the culprits.
Like the disciples, we can be “ye of little faith.” We become so accustomed to His daily miracles that we forget to stay amazed that He’s always there, always guiding and always willing to help. We just have to rely on Him and recall how faithful He is. We can’t forget the miracles from yesterday or even a few hours ago. Instead, we have to stand on those times and let them build our faith.
No food in the fridge? Do not fear. He fed you yesterday, He’ll feed you again today.
No one is calling you back about the job you applied to? Don’t worry. Just as He blessed you with a job before, He’ll instruct you on which ones to apply to so He can bless you again. He’ll even provide a job offer that exceeds your expectations.
Not pregnant yet? Don’t let the doctor’s report discourage you. Just as He blessed Sarah, Hannah and that woman at your church to have kids at an older age, He’ll open your womb and allow you to carry a healthy baby to term.
Waiting on marriage? Fight impatience and temptation to do things your way. You will not have to compromise your purity and standards in order to meet someone. If He did it for your friend who is not living for the Lord yet has a faithful husband, He will definitely bless you with a God-fearing man who you can grow old with.
We can’t lose sight of what God has done when we’re faced with challenges. God is in the small, seemingly-simple details of our life, weaving a tapestry of grace and mercy behind the scenes. We can’t allow our hearts to be hardened or the fear of failure to blind us to His evident presence in our lives.
While I mocked the disciples previously for a lack of faith, I now empathize with them. They may have had Jesus in the flesh but my generation also has God, the word of God, the Holy Spirit, and examples, upon examples, upon examples of how He has shown up in our lives and the lives of those around us.
I vow to learn from the disciples and continually be amazed at the awesome work God is doing in my life. Won’t you join me?
I talk more about this topic on my YouTube channel, Conversations with Carrie.
