Unmet Expectations

It’s December.

It’s my birthday month, the last month of the year and the last month of this decade.

Like many people, I look back over the year and celebrate the amazing moments, display gratefulness that I get to see another year and begin pondering about the year to come.

I was blessed to have a year of firsts: first trip to Hawaii, first time attending New York Fashion Week, first time working a red carpet, first time moderating a panel at church – I could go on!

Out of all these awesome firsts, my mind has unfortunately been replaying some of my unmet expectations from the year. Instead of focusing on the happy, fun, eventful moments, I have focused on one or two things that did not happen.

I know better than this and I’m acting like the 13^th Disciple. I know I need to decline the enemy’s invitation to the Pity-Party Committee. Yet, I haven’t. I’ve been walking around in a semi-funk, fake-smiling my way through some of my days.

I’ve even used characters from God’s word to justify my feelings. When Martha, sister of Lazarus, runs to Jesus and says, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.” My version sounds like, “Lord, if you had answered my prayer already, I wouldn’t be going through this again.” Then, I insert my foot even farther into my mouth by adding on, “I know You are able, so what’s taking so long?”

Sound familiar?

Perhaps you feel like Sarah waiting for the promise of Abraham’s heir. You’re believing for a baby, it’s been years of waiting and you’re about ready to take matters into your own hands. You’re tired of scrolling through your social media feed to see other families celebrating first birthdays or putting presents for their kids under the Christmas tree.

Or maybe, you feel like Ananias who had to pray over Saul, a persecutor of Christians. God called Saul to be a chosen instrument in preaching the word of God and wanted Ananias to help make that happen. Ananias was instructed to go pray for someone who was literally killing people like him in order to advance the kingdom. Perhaps you’re waiting on a new role at work but in the meantime, you keep having to humble yourself to that rude person who talks over you in meetings. That same person just got promoted even though your skillset far surpasses his/her capabilities.

I get it. I truly do. I had big expectations about what I thought God said He was going to do in my life this year. Yet, it seems like things have gotten worse in those areas.

So, what do you do when you have unmet expectations?

• Don’t believe the lies – The enemy will always whisper lies to make you doubt the true character of God and what He’s doing in your life. He’ll distort your reality and bombard your thoughts with false evidence. He’ll even send you some grumblers and complainers disguised as friends or penetrate your mind using the one thing you have in your hand all day: your phone. Through social media, news outlets or even work, he will find ways to make you think God doesn’t care about your situation or what He said will not come to pass. Turn to your Word to defeat his lies with God’s truth.
• Use your words – Proverbs 18:21 says the power of life and death are in your tongue. You can either sit back and accept defeat or you can open your mouth and speak life over yourself. Use your words to manifest faith, encouragement and positivity back into your life. Speak about those things that don’t exist, as if they do. Write your truths down and repeat them out loud every day as an act of faith.
• Don’t grow weary – Sarah grew tired of waiting for God’s promise of a son and ended up having her husband sleep with her maiden in order to have a son. Once the son was born, her maiden gave her major side-eye. Now, Sarah still didn’t have a son and she had a smart-mouthed maiden on her hands. She literally made the situation two-times worse. When we grow weary, we move into self-preservation mode and try to create our own solutions. Our man-made solutions often create a bigger mess than we had in the beginning. Trust God and don’t grow weary while waiting on His timing.
• Ask for your desires to align with His will for your life – some of our expectations have not been met because they are not of God. Read your Word so you learn more about who He is and what He wants for your life. He will not give you a desire that goes against His word. Align your desires with His will and watch Him exceed your expectations.

You may not understand why your expectations were not met this year. Hard truth: you’re not always meant to understand. Faith in God is an action that requires us to not question the process but instead have hope in the One who owns the process. He has never let you down and never will. Hold fast to that truth and stand firm on His promises for your life. Let this last month of the year/decade help you reflect on all the good and remain hopeful on all the still-to-come.

Dear heavenly Father, thank you for another year of life and another moment to celebrate all that You are and all that You do. Help us to defeat the enemy with our faith-filled words and use those words to defeat his lies and schemes. Strengthen our bodies, our minds and our spirits so we don’t grow weary in well-doing as we wait for the manifestation of Your promises in our lives. Guide us with Your word on what our desires should be for our lives. We love You and know that You are good. In Jesus’ name, Amen.