Dear Future Me,
Hey Sis, heeeeyyyy! (I said that with a body roll.)
It’s March 2020 and it feels like it should be December already because the year has been off to a tough start for most of the world. We’re currently in lockdown mode in the Bay Area. Gap Inc. has closed all of its stores along with most other retailers. The world remains in a state of shock, awe, and rebellion as we navigate this new and entirely unexpected time of life. Every cough and sneeze is scrutinized, personally and by anyone within proximity, along with every word from our nation’s political and healthcare leaders.
Rain’s pitter-patter on the windows and gutters is a welcomed distraction. The rhythmic plops and drops soothe and will hopefully wash some of the angst and worry that floods the hearts of so many. We all look forward to new mercies with the morning’s sunshine, grateful to see another day and hoping for better news than what has been rotating 24/7 on the tv screens.
Can I admit something?… I’m kind of loving this quarantined lifestyle. The introvert in me is screaming in delight and sticking her tongue out at my extroverted side. While I hate that something this serious had to happen to make everyone slow down and look at their neighbor, not to mention the impact on so many families and businesses – the slower pace is a change that I can easily transition into. Every day feels like a Friday work-from-home day. I get to wake up at a reasonable hour, spend time with the Lord, not do my hair or put on make-up and wear workout clothes or oversized sweats most of the day. I am cooking nutritious meals (Beyond Meat is straight from Jesus) and drinking plenty of water. While I do miss the gym and lifting heavy weights, I’m back to pounding the pavement and putting one foot in front of the other. My body often tells me to stop or whispers “that’s good enough,” but my mental pushes me and says, “One more step. One more mile. You’ve got this!” And the mental is what I listen to because this is not a time to give up. This is not a time to stop. While friends and loved ones are all coping differently, I have dug my heels in and am determined to let this work for my good. God has put some wonderful things in motion in my life, therefore, I know there is more, and this is not where the story ends- for me or for you.
While I am trying to channel this extra time and forced isolation into writing, I’m somewhat struggling to keep my creativity switched to ON. Not for lack of trying. I have never been so entertained with social media, group chats, various forms of instant messenger and facetime calls (low-key might have IG-withdrawal symptoms once this ends). I am moved to know that so many people care about the well-being of others. We are laughing, creating memes (the internet remains undefeated), taking pictures, sending videos and links like there is no tomorrow. And while prayerfully, there is a tomorrow- we don’t know what it holds or what it looks like. I have consistently connected with loved ones and have a few more to check-in on. I hope to look at this time as not just a moment to grind and stay busy but to relax, open my eyes and connect in a different way.
What I don’t want it to look like is me fifteen pounds heavier because I’ve sedentary while eating all the snacks. ALL OF THEM. That #quaratine15 is a real threat right now. I was feeling good that a bag of my favorite chips lasted me four days . . . but not sure if that is the type of celebration I should be striving after. This is not the best time to emotionally eat, or eat because you’re bored, or eat because you miss your boo, or eat because you worked out. I’m really starting to question my discipline and this only week two of working from home.
I’m striving to spend more time in prayer so I can hear what God needs me to know. It’s amazing how distracted you can get when you need to just sit before the Lord. All of a sudden, you’re sleepy, hungry (again), driven with work deadlines, in the mood to clean or the elusive creativity wants to make an appearance. Coincidence? Nope. I need Him now more than ever and I’ve got the time. Prioritize, Sis.
I’m blessed to be in such a positive space mentally, physically and spiritually. As I reflect on what’s to come, I press forward in the confidence of God, our Redeemer, and our Deliverer. Until next time.
Muah.
