Enjoy this post from guest writer, Lauren Hall
The past 6 years of my life have been marked with unexpected events. An unexpected death, an unexpected diagnosis, and now, an unexpected job loss. This is not to imply that my life hasn’t also been met with surprising events that were rosy, but the past 6 years have been influenced by the less-than-desirable ones. While navigating these significant shifts, I continuously found myself drawn to two words: faith and gratitude. I regularly found myself, my prayer time, and my worship, situated between the two. I’ve discovered that one word is the process, and the other, the praise, but they aren’t reliant upon each other.
More recently, I’ve been intentional about studying what faith looks like in the Bible. Stories of quiet faith, loud faith, bold faith, questionable faith, steady faith, no faith. I’m sharing what I’ve learned to encourage you:
Belief In and Faith For
In Matthew 9:18-26, we’re met with the story of a man who came to the synagogue, asking Jesus to put his hands on his daughter who had just died. When Jesus arrived at the man’s house, He looked at the daughter and said: “she’s not dead, she is sleeping.” Those in the house mocked Jesus, failing to believe that the daughter was simply sleeping.
The synagogue man, aware of Jesus’ power and desperate to save his daughter, asked Jesus to perform a miracle. But as soon as Jesus prepares to do what’s asked of Him in faith, He was met with unbelief from the family members.
I imagine those in the house having side conversations and saying, “I don’t know why Jesus was invited over, He doesn’t know what He’s doing.” You know, the same conversations people have a cookout when they quickly realize that the aunt who can’t cook brought the potato salad? (But that’s neither here nor there.)
Jesus spoke over their situation and was essentially met with a “Nah.”
It’s easy to be the judgmental and self-righteous Believer while reading this passage and quickly find ourselves thinking “why would you mock Jesus? Why would you not have faith in His power? Sound familiar?
If we’re being honest, this sounds like me and you.
It sounds like Jesus telling us that He is Jehovah Shalom, the Prince of Peace, and us continuing to worry about things beyond our control. It sounds like Jesus reminding us that He is Jehovah Jireh, our Provider, and us working in our own strength when we’ve lost a job. It sounds like Jesus pleading with us to believe that He is Jehovah Rapha, our Healer, and us freely throwing our trust and expectations exclusively in medicine and doctors. It sounds like our Savior proving to us that He is Jehovah Nissi, our Victory, and us measuring success only by what we accomplish on our own. It sounds like our Comforter proclaiming that He is Emmanuel, God with us, and us continuously choosing to run to Him last.
It’s what we’ve all done in times past and times yet to come: desperately inviting Jesus in but then doubting his power and telling Him, “Nah, you can’t do that,” after He speaks over our situation. It’s having enough faith to invite Him into our circumstance, but not enough belief in His power to accept, and even rejoice in what He says about it. Belief in, and faith for, are always connected.
Graciously, Jesus took the daughter’s hand and she got up. He didn’t choose to argue with their unbelief. He quietly and mercifully showed Himself to be Jesus, not only in His character but in His ability.
What Do You Believe?
Where do you find yourself in lately? Do you tend to lean on the side of the skeptic like the man and his family, or is your confidence and ability continuously laid down at the feet of Jesus? If I’m honest, my faith tends to “lean wit it, rock wit it”. As I was studying these verses and writing this blog post, God revealed to me that my faith, as painful as it is to admit, is situational. In the areas of my life where I need healing, redemption, or provision, I fully trust God. However, there is one situation where my heart responds doubtfully, where my prayers aren’t spoken with conviction, where my heart says “Jesus, I don’t know about this one.”
I’ll find myself praying and saying, “this has been going on since I was in junior high and there’s been minimal change or progress. You’re going to have to make a way, Lord.” However, this isn’t said with desperation. It’s said with an attitude. The kind of disposition and sass that says, “I don’t believe you can, so, please, I’d love to see you try.” It’s said with the same demeanor of a loud girl poppin’ gum, talking loud, with no self-awareness or regard for those around her, talking to her best friend about how her man has to prove his love to her or she’s ending the relationship. Everyone eavesdropping into the conversation quickly realizes she’s the problem. You know her or you are her. You are talking to Jesus and asking Him to move but you’re actually the one who needs to decide what your belief is in and who your faith is for.
Something that has become a regular practice for me is adding life’s highs and woes to two lists I have on my phone. One list is called “I am Worried” and the second, “He is Faithful.” I created these lists to document answered prayers, but they’ve also served as a constant reminder of who God is, and how He has been faithful in my life. “I am Worried” is a list of things that I ultimately have no control over. A list that basically says, “Alright Lord, if You don’t do this, it cannot be done.” It is a list that serves as an indication of the posture I should be taking daily, not just when I’m in “need” of something. On the flip side, “He is Faithful” allows me to look back on the cataloged areas of my life as a way to remind myself of the character of Jesus, and to increase my faith when I am facing something that I am worried about. Better yet, all I have to do is take one skim of the “He is Faithful” list and one of Tye Tribbett’s biggest hits will fill my heart and my head, “If He did it before, He can do it again! Same God right now, same God back then” Notice how Jesus’s character and His ability are connected.
Our lack of belief or faith doesn’t mean that we are going to get a “lack” of Jesus. He’s not going to stop working. He’s not going to stop proving Himself to be true, and I’m grateful for that.
I don’t know where you find your belief in or faith for today. You may be screaming “God is faithful” from the mountain tops or can barely work up enough faith to pray. I’ve found myself in both seasons multiple times, and I want to assure you that God is truly Emmanuel, He is with us, withholding nothing, and extending more grace than we know.
My prayer is that you laughed, are encouraged but most importantly, that you will create the space for Jesus to move your faith forward. He is faithful.
Lauren (or Lo, as her dad nicknamed her) is a Bay Area Native and foodie who loves kimchi jjigae, peach cobbler, and macaroni and cheese, but never together. In her spare time, you can find her listening to podcasts, running or laughing so hard she feels no guilt skipping ab day. One of her main passions is supporting people without homes, as she founded her own non-profit, Humans for Humans, in 2018 to do just that. Lauren loves her family, her friends, and her bed. And she loves you just for reading this.
