This is 40

Forty.

40.

Four-tee.

4-0.

I keep rolling this number over my tongue. Tasting it. Trying to see what it feels like to say it. No matter how I tell it to myself and others, it’s the same thing. I am officially a forty-year-old woman. I’ve been saying “I’m almost forty” for a few years, but now that the day has officially arrived- it feels . . . like every other day.

I know that turning forty is a milestone birthday and believe me, I thank the good Lord above that I have been blessed to flourish and grow into the woman I am while having breath in my lungs to start my fortieth year. I guess . . . I just don’t feel forty (whatever that is supposed to feel like). In my head, I still feel like a 32-year-old who has her entire life in front of her. I’m just getting started! Plus, the pandemic has put a serious damper on my celebration plans so it doesn’t have the same impact.

I recall being in my twenties when women who were in their forties dropped some gems of wisdom. At the time, the information went in one ear and out the other. But now that I am at the age they were, my eyes have been opened and listennnnnn (I’m leaning back as I write this), I wish I would have listened. They shared knowledge that has rung true to this day.

Therefore, I figured I would pay it forward and do the same for others. Whether you are younger or older than 40, I think you will read, laugh, and relate to all these points:

• Ignore all timelines – everything in your life will happen at the time it’s supposed to happen. The friend getting married, the friend having kids and the friend swiftly climbing the career ladder have nothing to do with your path, your life, and your timelines. Comparing your journey to someone else’s will only create discontent.
• Blood doesn’t determine who your family is – those cherished few who are there for you during your lowest moments, who check on you regularly, and who celebrate your good news as if it’s theirs? Those people are your family. They may know you better than the people you grew up with and that means they are just as close or closer than family. Value them.
• Don’t put your dreams on hold – write the book, go on the trip, apply for the job, tell that person how you really feel, buy the house, start the business- need I go on? Just because you have a degree in a particular area doesn’t mean that is what you have to do for the rest of your life. Create and experience a new adventure.

Don’t let me be the only one to drop some gems of wisdom. I commissioned some amazing women in my life to provide some knowledge that you are sure to use, no matter your age. They are professionals, mothers, wives, accomplished life-livers and altogether amazing, so take note:

• Life gets better with age if you let it.
• Trust your intuition.
• Once you truly enjoy your own company, you know you have come into healthy womanhood.
• Forever is a very long time, choose wisely – this goes for career choices, romance, friendships, and more.
• Imperfection is what makes you human. Don’t look at your past years with regret for the dumb things you did. Give yourself the same grace that God gives you.
• Be a preferred member of Mind your Business Ministries.
• Look at people from a place of mercy. We all have a story and theirs could have been really rough, so show grace and mercy before jumping to conclusions or judging.
• Ain’t nobody worried about sexy panties! They have their place but get comfortable with breathable cotton.
• Invest your time and money well in your 20’s and 30’s- invest in getting to know God which will, in turn, help you get to know yourself and invest in your experiences so you can build a legacy for your family and build on a firm foundation.
• Appreciate your knees- they work differently as you age. Dropping it like it’s hot will have you bringing it up slow because you have to, not because you want to.

The list goes on.

I pray you grow wiser and better as you age.