If you’ve ever lived away from home as an adult, you understand having to start over for a lot of the most pertinent areas in your life. This includes finding a new primary care physician (PCP), a new dentist, a new favorite Thai or sushi spot and most importantly, a new barber or beautician.
As a Black woman, a new beautician normally ranks higher than a PCP, dentist and OB-GYN combined. You will stalk the woman at the grocery store with the perfect haircut in aisle 7 who has bananas and Kombucha in her basket and pray that she didn’t do it in her kitchen. Whether you rock naturally curly hair, a silk press, highlights, braids, a sew-in, frosted tips, and/or a relaxer, you need to find a good beautician. Finding someone who does even two of these services well means you have found a unicorn.
I have high expectations when it comes to finding a beautician because I grew up in a beauty shop. Others may call it a salon but, in my family, and in a lot of Black communities, it’s the beauty shop or simply “the shop”. (It didn’t become the “salon” until I moved to California.)
My mother’s specialty was cooking and baking. Doing hair . . . not so much. Therefore, growing up, I was in a beauty shop almost as much as the church. My Aunt Gina, who was the family beautician gave me my first Jheri curl (don’t judge) which led to my first relaxer. In seventh grade, my older cousin, Ree Ree, became a licensed beautician and I was voluntold to become her client. That’s when I fell even deeper in love with the beauty shop.
Ree Ree knew how to cut, color, relax and style my hair as if it was what she was born to do. I don’t mean to brag (I’m going to though), but throughout high school, college, and my last years in Indiana, if you knew me and my hair, you knew about Ree Ree. From straw sets, roller wraps to highlights, Ree Ree kept my hair oh-so-fly. She instilled in me that “good hair” was healthy hair that could hold curl, heat and style. She debunked the ignorant myth that has plagued the Black community around having a certain hair texture in order to have good hair. I gave out her contact info more times than I could count because other Black women knew the value and covetousness that took place when seeing someone else with healthy, bouncy hair.
Going to the beauty shop each week and seeing the plethora of Black women in an environment created and maintained just for us boosted my confidence. Every color, shape, hair texture, profession and more showed up in the beauty shop. The woman under the dryer next to you could be your family member, neighbor, fellow churchgoer, inspiration, sorority sister or future professional connection. You saw yourself and your future self in each styling chair. The beauty shop has been a community just for us that dates back farther than I can imagine. Black women have always bonded and shown camaraderie over our hair and that bond shows up strong and genuine within the walls of the beauty shop.
Living in California for the last sixteen years, I’ve seen my fair share of shops from SoCal to NorCal. I have hilarious horror stories, but I also have found a few gems along the way. There were times I knew I was in the right space as soon as I walked in. And when I wasn’t, I knew that too (but the desperation to get my hair done often outweighed my discernment). Depending on the neighborhood, you might walk in to find someone selling catfish dinners and bootleg Coach purses. While I don’t encounter that too frequently today, it’s a good sign to walk into a shop and have someone say hello or gives you a warm greeting. This is always preferred versus the “let me look you up and down, linger on your cute shoes but still not speak” look which can come from the “receptionist” or a random person closest to the door (who you’re not sure if she actually works there or not).
In the best shops, there is a communal atmosphere that envelops you as soon as you walk in. That feeling of belonging combined with the smell of chemicals and hot curling irons in a stove still gives me nostalgic feelings to this day. It just says home to me.
If chosen correctly, the right beautician can literally change your life because beauticians are therapists, friends, sisters, advisors, mentors, bodyguards, counselors, magicians and more. You learn and share in the beauty shop. Almost no topic is off-limits, be it marriage, religion, school, cooking, politics, pop culture, music, and even sex. Everything comes up in the beauty shop. Some topics are addressed with tact while others make you want to clutch your pearls. Either way, you’ll learn a lil’ something, something.
Are you due for a haircut, silk press, or perhaps a touch-up? I hope your next experience in the salon brings you the warmth and comfort it has always symbolized for me. In this Black History Month and years to come, I will continue to show much love and respect to the beauty shop. There is nothing like it!
