Still Single in a Pandemic

Previously, I wrote about being Single in a Pandemic.

Ya’ll, I’m still single and no matter what outside looks like, we’re still in a pandemic.

Being single in a pandemic hits different when you’ve contracted COVID three times as I have. Yep, you read that right- THREE times. You would think that instead of being out here in these streets, I was out here licking these streets.

The first COVID case was in June 2020. I was at home eating Chinese food courtesy of Door Dash, and I thought it was extremely bland. Nah, sis. I had lost my taste and smell at a time when we were still quarantined and my only out-of-the-house moment was my daily outdoor run. Even my groceries were being delivered. I didn’t bother taking a test because what else would cause me to lose my taste and smell for four to five days except for the ‘Rona? COVID showed up at my front door.

The second case was in March 2021. I was out of town helping a friend move and found out as soon as I got home that I was intimately exposed to someone who tested positive. I immediately took a test, and it was negative. That night, symptoms came in like a flood. I took a test a few days later and it came back positive.

This experience prompted me to get vaccinated and later boosted.

This most recent 2022 infection was reminiscent of the 2021 situation. I was out of town for work and the trip transitioned into a fun, personal weekend. The day I flew home, I was feeling a little off. I am very in tune with my body and knew that something wasn’t quite right. The following night, I had a sore throat, so I took a test. It came back negative. But the next day, while my sore throat was gone, it was replaced with a fever and chills. Everything went downhill from there and my symptoms resembled the sickness I experienced in 2021. I took another test a couple of days later which came back positive. I immediately took time off from work to focus on rest and recovery.

But being sick at home alone is not fun. I enjoy my alone time, however, involuntary alone time combined with a sickness that knocks you on your butt has a different impact.

As I lay in my bed, unable to cool my body down and break my fever, I found myself frustrated. Frustrated that I had COVID again. Frustrated that I was stuck in the house without a husband to care for me. Frustrated that something as simple as making tea was painful, and I had to do it on my own. I was frustrated about being single with COVID.

Sulking around my house feeling horrible, I was tempted to let my frustration turn into a pity party. I wanted to wallow in how unfair it felt to get sick. The enemy was whispering those all-too-familiar lies about loneliness and telling me to shut everyone off since no one really cared (said in my Eeyore voice).

But instead of letting the lying whispers cause me to isolate and withdraw, I used my unexpected free time to talk to God. I talk to Him about errythang, so I shared my misgivings about getting sick despite my vitamin intake and safety precautions. I hit Him with the “what gives, God?”

I’m so glad Jesus knows me and what I can receive. He didn’t say anything like “why not you?” because I’m pretty sure He knows I would have literally listed reasons why I was not the candidate to fight COVID again. Instead, He replaced my woe-is-me attitude with gratefulness by showing me how I was safe in my own home with the flexibility to take off from work while still getting paid. He also reminded me that in this fallen world, I’m going to deal with situations that are not ideal, but I can choose to respond differently. I can choose to see what I do have instead of focusing on what I don’t.

So that’s what I did. Instead of focusing on the fact that I didn’t have a boo to bring me hot ramen, I saw how God provided a community of folks who truly wanted to make sure I was doing well. There wasn’t one day when my phone didn’t vibrate with someone checking in on me. He then reminded me that it’s okay to ask for help from those who offered it.

Asking for help is not always easy. In my singleness, I am used to doing everything myself because even when sick, the essentials are at my fingertips with a few swipes on my phone. After pressing a few keys and paying a heightened delivery fee, I could have whatever I needed. And that’s what I did at first. When different loved ones asked if I needed anything, I just pitifully said, I’m fine (cue Eeyore voice again).

But I wasn’t fine. My feelings were fickle, and the enemy was trying to trick me into isolation and a false sense of independence. But the Lord knew this wasn’t my time to ride the independence train. I sold my ticket and got off at the first stop, Sick and Dependent Way. I was not well, and I needed help. I wanted to feel taken care of and that’s exactly what God sent my way.

He provided a wonderful person to bring me brunch and a care package complete with fruit, dinner, and biscuits (ya’ll, biscuits are my love language). He then sent friends to check in repeatedly with loving messages, great conversation, and simple ways to bring a smile to my face. I used the downtime to read, listen to some new podcasts, study His word and simply be. No agenda, no to-dos, and no schedule.

He showed me what He thinks of me through the actions of others.

I am loved.

I am valued.

I am treasured.

And it’s okay to slow down and rest. I don’t have to fill every moment with something or be productive during a time that is sequestered for recovery. My only responsibility was to truthfully tell people who asked how I was feeling and to accept the love they offered.

Whew. What a release.

Single in a pandemic doesn’t mean being relegated to doing it all by yourself, living in fear of getting sick, or secretly hoarding the stress of everything alone. We are made for community and God has strategically placed people in your life who are willing and ready to shower you with love and concern for your well-being. Don’t shoulder a burden you aren’t meant to carry alone. Accept the love and see the gratitude that’s right in front of you.