Part I:
It was the summer of 2021. COVID was alive and well which meant limited opportunities for social interaction. Virtual hang-outs, wiping down grocery deliveries, and group fitness classes on Zoom were a part of my day-to-day. While I appreciated the technological advancement that made virtual connections possible, I still needed human interaction. I yearned to be around people who loved the Lord and their lifestyle mirrored mine personally or professionally.
Enter Rhianwen.
Even though Rhianwen, aka Rhi, and I met in 2018, we became real friends in 2021. A mutual mentor and advisor introduced us based on the premise that we are in similar life stages and would enjoy one another.
She wasn’t wrong.
Connecting so easily with a new friend in my adult years was rare, especially since we are quite different in our personalities. Rhi is full of energy and knows how to make anyone feel like the most important person in the room. She holds the ability to be warm and inviting without revealing too much of herself. She also knows how to be inquisitive but not nosy; outgoing but not attention-seeking; attentive but not annoying.
Like myself, Rhi lived in LA before moving to the Bay Area. She joined our church during her single season and earnestly loved worship music and honoring God with her life. She knew the professional corporate ropes and was flourishing in her career.
One day, Rhi hit me up and asked, “Would you be interested in tennis lessons? There is a guy at church who is willing to give us tennis lessons. He won’t even charge us.”
Did somebody say free? I quickly agreed without asking too many questions. Golf was my newest hobby, so adding tennis to the outside activity list was a no-brainer. I was going to get my Tiana Jones and my Serena Williams on.
Enter Luis.
Luis is a skilled tennis pro who started playing tennis when he was only six years old. At the time, he coached others as a fun pastime to get outside and meet new people from church. I was surprised to discover he went to our church because I had never seen him there. As a single woman in the church, I had a trained eye to scout for all the single Christian brothers, so this one was new to me.
Broad-shouldered and kind-spirited, Luis was a patient, diligent coach. Rhi had a natural athletic ability in tennis, but I was struggling to learn the basics. Hand-eye coordination wasn’t my strong suit, and a tennis racquet never graced my hands. I asked Luis a lot of questions, required repeated demonstrations, and needed continuous form correction. I could tell he just wanted to play and I was slowing down the flow of things. Not to mention, Rhi and I ran our mouths more than we swung our rackets. It also didn’t help that I became oddly competitive, and my perfectionism reared its ugly head making my game worse rather than better.
Luis remained thoughtful in his coaching approach and never criticized me for my childish outbursts. He knew just how to redirect my frustration and help me focus on the skill at hand. There were plenty of times when he flipped the script, turning my annoyed frown into a proud grin.
Luis was very talkative and dare I say, jovial, with Rhi and other people he invited to our tennis lessons. During our post-tennis brunch or weekend dinner dates, she told me about his life including how he was born and raised in the Bay Area, came from a Catholic background, was the primary caretaker for his two sons, and had a sincere heart for God. We spent time putting our heads together brainstorming who we could match him up with from church. We even thought he had a crush on her because he was so talkative and friendly with her yet quiet and standoffish around me.
Other than coaching me in tennis and occasional stories about his two young boys, I didn’t know much about Luis outside of what I observed and what Rhi told me. He was raising his sons to know God and stayed involved in different church activities to deepen his knowledge of Christ. He possessed a boldness to evangelize and a confidence to invite people to know God through church. While sweet and generous with his time, I categorized him as an introverted guy who had a heart for God and was slightly dusty. He drove a car that had seen better days and when I saw him in church, he always looked as if he just rolled out of bed, threw a sweatshirt on, and put on dope sneakers. His fitted cap would be in his hand along with his bible.
The three of us would often go to early morning prayer on Saturdays at church before heading to our tennis lesson. Before one of our tennis lessons, a minister at my church was chatting with me and encouraging me in my single walk. She tilted her head toward Luis and asked, “Well, what about him?”
“Pppssshhhh,” I pursed my lips together and rolled my eyes. “Um, no. He’s too quiet and I’m not looking for a project.”
She simply shrugged and said, “You’d be surprised what a good woman does for a man. He could surprise you and blossom into something else with the right motivation.” She continued talking after that, but I had already drowned her out. I wasn’t interested in Luis.
Period.
